Spoky story

so this one time this girl and i were in the woods but we heard a noice....

"sasa... sasa..."

it was SO SCARY and i really needed to express that so you could get how SCARY it was. so we heard the sasa and we thought it was probably a platypus or something practical. but we also heard an audiobook say "elephant seals often get stuck in bath tubs"

i was like "bitch we gotta go" and she was all like "ok" then we ran in the wrong direction and ended up in an abandoned mansion. then we heard another audiobook

"elephant seals are known for getting stuck in mansions"

so we had to HIDE so nothing would happen (maybe a clown would be there, idk but i wasnt going to risk it because my grandpa died because of a clown (hi grandpa) so f that shiz) so we hid in the bathroom. then an audiobook REALLLLLLY loud said "SASA, ELEPHANT SEALS GET STUCK IN BATH TUBS SAS-" then it cut out. and did i tell you guys im 50% penguin? i dont look like one but penguin blood is in my veins because my mom was a penguin before my dad strangled her. then i heard an audio book say "sasa..................................... elephant seals' favorite snack is PENGUINS!!!" and i was like FUCK and i realised something: elephant seals are not clowns. i became less scared since i was in the bathroom hiding with a zexy bitch. she said "omg did u know im part elephant seal? i can tell them not to eat u maybe?" i was like lol bitch u crasy but i didnt really say that because she would rape me or somethin. i said "ok" and she was like "sasa...sasa......sasa,sasa,sasa, sasaSA.......sa" and i said woah u speak that language? she said ya but then the audiobook was like "you called me an asshole in elephant sealnese why" and i was like DUDE omg did you and she was like "idk i think maybe" then a clown came in and i was like "aaaaaa" but then it wasnt a clown it wa an elephant seal in a clown costume. and i was like "phew, wait a second" and i looked at him and i was like OMG ur beautiful and he was like "dude thanks but i know that" and my girl was like "hey arent eye beautiful?" but i said "no you dont have a jew nose like this fine fellow. then i died because both of them ate me >:C